My Story Of Kirsten

Double digits, wow, is it even possible for me to have a 10 year old daughter. Kirsten has a very special story that she has never heard before and won't for many years, but I will share with you today. As most of you know I got pregnant with Kirsten when I was only 17. My parents (Dad and Lisa) had just got married and in fact were away on there honeymoon, it was the day they came home. I had told Daniel I think something was going on, I hadn't had a cycle for like 2 or 3 months, (I was very anemic as a teen, so this was normal). I insisted that he go to Long's and get a test, I wouldn't dare go in this small town and buy that, someone might see me. So we drive back over to Lisa, they weren't going to be home for a few hours. I run in and take the test. I remember staring at the test, thinking how can this be happening to me. This is not my plan in life, what the hell am I going to do. I walk with my head hanging low out to the car to tell Daniel. Disbelief, but at that moment, this was only my issue. I muster up some guts and tell my Mom, this has to be one of the hardest things I have ever done. At that time we had decided that abortion was the only option. It makes me want to cry just saying these words in my head now. I make the appointment and my Mom goes with me a couple days later to planned parenthood. I read all the gross forms that you have to sign and they call me in the room. First they want to counsel me, which I knew was going to happen and knew what I was going to say. They ask the question, "is this the choice you really want?" "No, I don't want to do this". From that point on, it wasn't just a "baby", it was my baby. I couldn't imagine them pulling out my baby and killing it, that is not what I wanted. A week or so goes by and we have a family meeting with Dad and Lisa, crazy butterfly's, I don't think I have ever been so nervous. They of course were disappointed in me for getting pregnant but were glad that I made the choice for my baby to live. And the bigger journey begins. I was a junior in high school, and I pulled myself away from everybody. I am now different, no one would ever understand. I even had to go to summer school for some freshman year classes I failed. This was so hard, I was six months pregnant and you could totally tell because I was such a small girl at the time. As I walked down the halls people would be pointing and whispering. It was horrible, I would never wish this on anyone. For my senior year I decide not to stay at the regular high school, and continue on to a continue-ation school in the ghetto of Fairfield. October 30, 1998 I stayed the night at my Dad and Lisa's, I remember waking to all kinds of pains while I was sleeping but didn't think anything of it. I continue to drive to Oroville with Daniel the next day to pick up Ricky and Tyler so that they can go to a Halloween party in Vacaville. On the way up there I start to time these "pains" and realize that they are regular, I did go to lamaze, so I knew what that meant. On the way back to Vacaville I stop in Live Oak (weired huh) and use a pay phone (who uses those anymore) to call my parents and tell them I think I am in labor. Many hours later, 7:00 pm we leave to go to the hospital, I am contracting 2 minutes apart. Almost 32 hours from start to finish I have a beautiful baby girl, Kirsten, 7 lbs. 1 oz., and 20 1/2 in. long. Look at her now, smart, funny, beautiful and she is all mine. I have NEVER regretted the choice I made, I couldn't imagine my life without her.